Charlotte

Just got back from a week’s stay in Charlotte, NC yesterday. I was out there to visit a client site making sure that everything was going well and to insure that any issues that were present were addressed and taken care of properly. It was more of a political show of force but it was nice to meet with the client and make sure that they knew that we are committed to making things work the way they should.

While in Charlotte I did a little driving around and had the opportunity to spend one evening with some very good friends. We had dinner and then I was given the tour of their home. Lots of cool stuff if you’re into cycling and fitness and machine shop paraphernalia. Ok,  lots of REALLY COOL stuff.

I stayed at the Hyatt Summerfield on S. Tryon not too far from the airport. I’m usually indifferent when it comes to this class of hotel as far as what they offer and how well things go. This time though I honestly could not stand the beds & pillows. The first night I attributed it to me just being away from home and not being used to the bed. Despite being completely exhausted I did not sleep well. Very restless and uncomfortable sleep. The following nights were each similar repeats. Even one of those nights, having had a few beers did not help. The beds are simply that uncomfortable. I mentioned this to the vendor that was in town with me and was staying at the same hotel. They said that their experience with the beds were the same. So it wasn’t just me. Oh well, lesson learned. All of the other aspects of the hotel were great. The staff was excellent and the complementary breakfasts were great.

One funny thing to note was the “used towel gnome”. For the first two days that I was there it seemed like every time I left the room and came back my used hand and bath towels disappeared. It was almost disturbing by day two and the fact that I no longer had any bath towels left and no hand towels left but only a couple of washcloths and a kitchen towel. However, when I came back from dinner all of my towels had been refreshed. Housekeeping must have been watching me very closely and deemed me as a heavy towel user.

The flight from DFW to CLT was miserable. I was in the middle seat of three with a rather large gentleman on my left and a cranky woman on my right. Thankfully he was quite polite and she slept the entire flight. I fired up the music on the iPhone, plugged in my headphones and read my sailing magazine the entire time.

Not thinking that the return flight from CLT to DFW could be any worse, especially since I had selected a seat on the port side of the plane where the rows were only two across. I was wrong. I was against the window with a very nice woman on the isle. She wasn’t the problem though. I just don’t fit these coach class seats very well and about 45 minutes into the flight my butt went numb and my hips hurt. I spent the remainder of the three hour flight shifting and scooting around in my seat attempting to stay comfortable. I even attempted sleep thinking that if I could just fall asleep I would sleep through the discomfort and the entire ordeal would be over sooner. Not so. I would doze off and then wake up due to the discomfort, rearrange my rear, fall back asleep then wake up 5 minutes later. Rinse, repeat. It sucked. I am too tall, my shoulders are too broad and my legs are too long to properly fit in those crappy seats. Do I recall American Airlines saying that they added more legroom a while back? Ya, that’s a load of bullshit. Don’t let them fool you. THAT is not legroom.

All in all, a decent trip minus the flights and beds. I’m glad to be home where I can sleep normally. Not that I sleep that good in my own bed, ever. But at least it’s better than I slept in Charlotte and I have more room in my little Nissan Pathfinder than an airliner.

If only…

I could remember my friggin passwords to log into things. Actually, it would be better if I would log into them more often and make updates and then it wouldn’t be an issue.

The iPhone has died. It usually dies at some point throughout the day if I don’t remember to put it on the charger. It’s not like I forget to put it on the charger daily, it’s just that the battery sucks. As in SUCKS ASS. Yes Apple that was directed at you. You need to make more of an effort to design better products to go into your products. Or, in the very least, make products that have parts we can actually replace. Bunch of asshats think their crap is going to last forever or that we’re going to fork over the cash to fix/replace the garbage that does stop working.

Anyway…if you’ve been following my tweets you’ll know that I am one of those people that if my technology stops working everyone will know about it and it will become the most useless garbage on the face of the planet and no one should ever buy one, EVER again. I’m not quite to that point yet but dammit I am very close. Not that I’ll have an impact on Apple’s stock but the ranting and raving does make me feel a little better.

Getting physical after the physical

I don’t know the results yet but I’m afraid that they will be less than desirable. If you’ve been following my tweets you would know that I had a physical today. Well…I can say that what the doc told me doesn’t come as a surprise but it does illustrate the fact that I was not ready to hear it from someone in the medical profession. The statement…I need to lose weight. Like I said no big surprise. I’m curious as to what the bloodwork will say.

Missing the connection

She seems to think that I have a “monthly cycle”. I’m inclined to agree with her since my issues with confidence in my work and excitement and enthusiasm wane at least once a month usually with a period of big downness. There has to be a connection to something that is causing it and I think I’m just missing that connection and thus can’t fix it.

I do know one thing. Dealing with money problems will kill inspiration. Of course having a day job that is absolutely sucking the life out of every fiber of my being really doesn’t help. I’ve considered the fact that my day job is what is killing me but without it I would be even more of a basket case. Since I wouldn’t have the steady stream of income with which I can pay off enormous debts. That would stress me out even more. On the other hand being able to focus on my craft 100% of the time may result in even more income with which I can eliminate those debts. The problem with that is that I’m not confident enough in my work at the moment to be able to make it my number one, or for that matter number only source of income.

Oh how the lottery would fix things.

But then I have a better chance of getting struck by lightning.

I’m torn. I struggle constantly with creativity. Not only in my photography but with my writing and just creativity overall. It affects me deeply in the sense that I put so much energy into overcoming the suck that when I actually get past the suck I don’t have any energy left to create. The ADD doesn’t help either. I can’t stay focused on any one thing long enough to actually get rolling in a particular direction, let alone finish something.

Combine all of that with the fact that I’m conflicted and torn over my equipment choices. I’m not happy with my kit because I know that there is something out there that does it better. I’m usually like this with gear anyway but with the cost of investment of photography equipment it is even more difficult than usual. The problem here is that I believe  the other gear will fix specific issues I struggle with constantly. However the other gear would require me to completely re-tool my kit. Something Michelle doesn’t want me to do and something I really don’t have the capital for. There again, a money issue. More importantly than just a money issue is the fact that I knew initially this other gear would fix these problems, but not yet experiencing these issues yet at the time I thought I went with the best choice. Now, I did make a very informed decision and did go with a very good choice at th time. But it has been the lack of capital that has prevented me from staying on the cutting edge like I would like to. Again, my current gear isn’t bad and I’m definitely not using it as an excuse for my inability to produce stellar results (that’s just incompetence and lack of patience).

Speaking of lack of patience. That’s another struggle I have. I can’t wait on anything. I am not a patient person and I love immediate satisfaction. Often with less that desirable results afterwards. But, it’s that feeling of satisfaction in the moment that fuels me. Maybe I need to focus that energy in more creative manner. I have become more patient with my purchases as well as much more critical of what I but. I research a lot more and I have all but eliminated the little nickel and dime purchases that used to plague me. Now I can’t buy anything of any value without researching and comparing similar products first.

Wow, this post ran all over. But the underlying issue is still there. Something is wrong, something has to change and I don’t have the time or the money or the patience to fix any of it. So what now?

The funk is over I think…

Wow, it has been one hell of a winter. The economy goes to crap, my company starts layoffs, the family gets sick multiple times. The start of this year has been just brutal. So here’s the rundown…

I’m irritated at all of the folks that want to blame Obama for the economy being in the crapper. You are morons. You are idiots, one, because you continually choose to ignore the previous administrations 8 years of ineptitude. Two, because even if McCain had been elected you would still find someone else to blame. Fact of the matter is you can’t take owness or criticism of anything. You believe you can do no wrong. Well, quit your whining, you made this bed you have to lie in it just like the rest of us. Whether or not the Obama administration can fix this mess remains to be seen. I for one am optimistic.

As part of this massive FAIL my company is following suit with all the rest and eliminating jobs. I’m not surprised. I knew that we would be, especially since the merger last year. Two companies can not merge without there being some sort of workforce overlap. The only problem is that it is exacerbated by the poor economy. I was fortunate enough to not be one of the ones cut this time. Next time, who knows. Instead of getting laid off I was subject to a pay cut. I was rather angry at first but after a few days came to my senses and was still grateful to have a job. Now, with the announcement of another pay cut, albeit temporary (for now), I’m still somewhat grateful. I think.

Combine that with the fact that everyone in my house can not seem to be healthy all at the same time and it makes for a very depressing situation. The poor kids have had one aliment after another for what seems like forever. Last week was the culmination of what I’m calling the perfect storm. Z got the flu, then I got sick, then A got sick all immediately followed by Michelle getting sick. I started getting over it then got sick again and that was followed by Z getting sick. It was a vicious circle. The boys ended up getting anti-biotics for their ailments and as they got better so did Michelle and I. So over the weekend we thought everyone was out of the weeds and then A wakes up with a bad rash that continues to get worse. Yesterday he goes to the Dr and they say he has hives. Joy. Another prescription and hopeful it’ll be taken care of. Today, the little boys went to school, yes, they are doing much better. A’s rash is still there but much, MUCH less irritating and looks much better. Z was his usual cranky self. Which is quite normal for the mornings. Michelle gets to deal with that every day, she loves that fact so very much.

The big kids are home with me since it’s spring break and I’m 1/2 off work and 1/2 working from home today since I have a photo shoot this afternoon and have to take Jenny to have her wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. Which brings me to yet another chapter in our wonderful life. Last month Jenny’s herbst device (think of the old fashioned head-gear, only now it’s more technologically advanced and internal to the mouth rather than worn on the head) broke and I took her in to have it fixed. Since she had been wearing it for over a year already and it was due to come off soon anyway they went ahead and pulled it out. She was very excited about this. Now that her herbst was out she was to get her bottom braces installed. This happened last Wednesday. When her herbst broke and they removed it they did a full x-ray and said that she needed to talk to another Dr about having her wisdom teeth removed before they caused problems for her 12 year molars. So that appointment to talk to the new Dr was last Thursday evening. They were able to schedule her for this week (Spring Break) since she will need about 4 days or so to recover from having 5 wisdom teeth removed. Yep, I said 5 wisdom teeth, she has one stacked on top of another. She must really be smart.

On top of all of that mess I had to deal with my winter “funk”. What a joy. The first part of this year was enough to depress anyone, but one thing on top of another, on top of another I had about enough. I finally pull myself together and decide that I just don’t have the time, or the energy to get depressed about any of this crap, anymore. I need every  bit of sanity and energy to keep things together on a daily basis and any spare juice I’ve got I need to use it to focus on the business. So I pull myself out of this funk and it seems Michelle goes into one. She’s had her own full plate with her new job. The new job that she absolutely loves. I’m glad she loves her job but the fact that she’s been traveling so much and this job has so much of her focus is taking it’s toll around here. When she’s not working in the evenings she is worn out and tired, a lot. The business is suffering and given what’s happening with the day job, that’s not a good thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I can’t do it without her. We just have too much going on for either one of us to be able to do any of  this alone so something is going to have to happen and it’s going to have to happen soon. If she doesn’t have the time I’m afraid that this year I may have to find another second shooter and someone to handle marketing for me. So much for the husband & wife team marketing angle.

Anyway…I’m still optimistic. Things will get better. Across the board. Mark my words.